This day I completed my thirty first year...

One of my favorite snippets of writing was a introspective note written by legendary explorer and fellow Leo - Merriweather Lewis on his 31st birthday. As most people know, Lewis and Clark had been given the assignment by President Thomas Jefferson to explore the vast new territory of land that America had just 'purchased' from Napoleon. Morally, I think there are a lot of issues with the idea of being able to buy land already inhabited by scores of indigenous tribes, but realistically, the Louisiana purchase was a clear turning point in American history. No denying that, and for that reason alone, the Lewis & Clark expedition (a.k.a the Corps of Discovery) would be a major event in history.

But it was much more than just the herald of territory expansion. The Lewis & Clark expedition has captured imaginations (and lent its name to my chosen college) over the centuries for a number of reasons. The expedition was a symbol of many of the best aspirational ideals of America. Decades before the Emancipation Proclamation or the Seneca Falls Conventions, a black man and a native female teenager became two of the most critical members and default decision makers on the expedition. When confronted with the raw, basic truths of the unexplored wilderness the institutionalized inequalities of society gave way naturally to the science of survival. The trip was also a scientific bonaza, a tour de force of cartography by 'dead reckoning' and the diligent, systematic examination of hundreds of new plant and animal species. Finally it was a voyage of peace. In an American history too often characterized by treating blue-collar soldiers as expendable and being callous towards native peoples, the Lewis & Clark expedition crossed thousands of miles of uncharted territory twice without losing a single member of having a single violent episode with any native tribe. On top of all this, it was a damn epic adventure.

Lewis was the leader, and he (along with several others) kept a frequent journal of the trip. On his 31st birthday, the group reached a milestone. The day was August 18th, 1805 and the group had left the Endless river of the Missouri behind and was standing on the Continental Divide. On that day, Lewis wrote the following entry:

"This day I completed my thirty first year, and conceived that I had in all human probability now existed about half the period which I am to remain in this Sublunary world. I reflected that I had as yet done but little, very little indeed, to further the hapiness of the human race, or to advance the information of the succeeding generation. I viewed with regret the many hours I have spent in indolence, and now soarly feel the want of that information which those hours would have given me had they been judiciously expended. but since they are past and cannot be recalled, I dash from me the gloomy thought and resolved in future, to redouble my exertions and at least indeavour to promote those two primary objects of human existance, by giving them the aid of that portion of talents which nature and fortune have bestoed on me; or in future, to live for mankind, as I have heretofore lived for myself.—

Yikes.

Kind of an epic mid-life crisis. I mean here was a young man leading a truly historic mission, embarked on a grand adventure, at a major milestone. And what is on his mind? That he hasn't done much of anything. I mean seriously, if that is the case, what hope do any of us have?

Of course, reality is messy, and there are a lot of ways to interpret this journal entry that make it seem both more uplifting, or far darker.

I'll share some of the thoughts I have on what significance this quote has for the modern world next week. In the meantime, what do you all think? Is Lewis depressed? Optimistic? Overly Self-Critical? Future-thinking? I am curious how other see it.

The Rocky Mountains at the Continental Divide